Are You Thinking Forgiveness Is A Sign Of Weakness?

By Rev. Glenn Neil Stocking

Lust for revenge is embedded in our “common consciousness,” that collective memory or manual of human behavior we find so much support for in popular literature, myth and religion. Even traditional Spiritual teachings often find exceptions to their core curriculum in matters of “justice.”

Enlightened people from all paths have recognized the value of letting go and moving on. Ernest Holmes writes in the Science of Mind, “There is nothing to forgive, only a Truth to be revealed.” To forgive, we are accepting that something is apart from Spiritual experience and that duality thinking denies our Spiritual Truth.

Revenge is a poison that quietly erodes the spirit of the person who carries it. The action hero in the movies is driven to defy all manner of physical if not civil laws in the pursuit of a perceived justice, but they do so in an altered state of reality and with the help of movie magic. Real people make poor decisions, often deepen their pain and fuel the fires of internal discord long after the natural course of mourning could have moved them back toward normalcy.

We are trained from birth to rain death and destruction down upon our enemies. We are cheered and encouraged to punch hard, fast and often to leave our trespassers bloody and dazed to prove we are a force to be reckoned with. We are told we must be strong, but strong is seldom defined and our assumptions are usually wrong.

One mistaken assumption is that bending others to our will is an indication of strength. It is an illusion. Others may appear to bend to our will, but they are internally strong and not really changed. Another mistaken assumption is that we are motivated in revenge by love. We are motivated by fear. The fear that we appear weak; that we appear to not care enough to act, that we appear to not be in control.

Our Spiritual nature is to love. Spirit is love. The love that gives us everything we want, or at least what we believe we want. We are expressions of Spirit and know this because Spirit is infinite meaning we cannot be separate from it. Our freedom of choice allows us to act in defiance of our true nature and we can be very defiant.

We create civil laws to ensure human evolution is driven by our best ideas rather than the force of might. Violence takes strength but it is not strength. Violence is surrender to our most primitive fight or flight instincts. Strength is demonstrated when we turn away from violence, when we find the courage to forgive and move on. To do otherwise traps us in our past with no path into our future.

Tragic events require justice and our system of laws provides a method for justice to be served with minimal impact on the individuals charged with its enforcement. The police patrolman, or detective is only involved as a result of their profession and can act dispassionately while still being passionate about justice and compassionate in exercising their vocation. The judge and prosecutor go home at night knowing they have done their part but not consumed by their participation.

An individual who sets themselves to bring justice outside our system of laws becomes rooted in the injustice that initiated the revenge. They erode their own harmony and weaken their ability to heal. Forgiveness can only be practiced by the strong. Forgiveness places us into alignment with our Spiritual source; opens us to the flow of infinite power. And forgiveness is an inside job. Remember what Holmes said, “. . . only a Truth to be revealed.” To forgive someone else implies we have the right to judge them in the first place. We may like or dislike an action, but the person is an expression of Spirit the same as us. We are judging ourselves and we must forgive ourselves.

We must forgive ourselves for not being fast enough, not knowing enough, not being home enough or not seeing the clues before us. We must get comfortable with the fact that life evolves in spurts of unexpected episodes and we must be strong enough to recognize that all our good intentions aside, sometimes we simply cannot do enough. Nor are we supposed to have done more.

What we can do is accept our fear of being judged and release any perceived need to judge others. With that burden lifted we can face our fear and turn it into our strength. The strength to see the face of God in everyone and in our mirrors; then forgive ourselves for ever thinking it was ever any different.

Learn more about Spirit, Spiritual nature and the power of love at Center for Spiritual Living in your community or online starting at CSL.org or CSLFTL.org.

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